Original poem by Tara and Heath Carey
Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family’s life.

Normal is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Birthdays, X-mas, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, New Years, Valentine’s Day, July 4th and Passover.

Normal is feeling like you can’t sit another minute without getting up and screaming, because you just don’t like to sit through anything anymore.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if’s & why didn’t I’s go through your head constantly.

Normal is reliving the accident continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away.

Normal is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening.

Normal is staring at every boy who looks like he is Taylor’s age. And then thinking of the age he’d would be now. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.

Normal is every happy event in your life always being backed up with
sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in your heart.

Normal is telling the story of your child’s death as if it were
an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in
someone’s eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has
become a part of your “normal.”

Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your childs’s memory and their birthdays and survive these days. And trying to find the balloon or flag that fit’s the occasion. Happy Birthday? Not really.

Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special Taylor loved. Thinking how he would love it, but how he is not here to enjoy it.

Normal is having some people afraid to mention my son, Taylor.
Normal is making sure that others remember him.

Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.

Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse, not better.

Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. Nothing compares.
NOTHING.
Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you – it doesn’t compare.

Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.

Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because you know your mental health depends on it.

Normal is realizing you do cry everyday.

Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone but someone stricken with grief over the loss of their child.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.
Normal is not listening to people make excuses for
G-d.
“G-d may have done this because…”

I know Taylor is in “heaven,” but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why a fantastic young man was taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother.
Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did the laundry or if there is any food.

Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have two children or one child, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that Taylor is dead.
And yet when you say you have one child to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed the dead child.

Normal is asking G-d why he took your child’s life instead of yours and asking if there even is a G-d.

Normal is knowing you will never get over this loss, not in a day nor a million years.

Normal is having therapists agree with you that you will never “really” get over the pain and that there is nothing they can do to help you because they know only bringing back your child back from the dead could possibly make it “better.”

Normal is learning to lie to everyone you meet and telling them you are fine. You lie because it makes others uncomfortable if you cry. You’ve learned it’s easier to lie to them then to tell them the truth that you still feel empty and it’s probably never going to get any better — ever.

And last of all…
Normal is hiding all the things that have become “normal” for you to
feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are “normal.”

The above poem was originally written by Tara and Heath Carey after they lost their daughters Violet and Iris in 2002 when natural gas caused their apartment to explode.

Mom

With Mother’s Day approaching I know it won’t be easy
You brought me into this life and for that I am grateful
You nourished, cherished, and looked after me
Never once asking for anything in return

If life was perfect, I would be there with you on your special day
Instead there will tears that you will need to wipe away
Distance cannot stop the love of a mother and child
So know that I am at peace, and my heart is full of love

You don’t need to feel bad, or shed a tear
The thoughts, the dreams, and the aspirations you had for me
For your aspirations have been fulfilled
I now sit in the presence of God, what better feat could there be

There will come a time that we will be together again
I’ll be here waiting for you, just as you would me
My love for you will never diminish
Even though I am not there
You’ll always have my tender loving care

Just sit, close your eyes, and you will know
That no matter where, I am always near
You are my Best Friend, My Confidante, My Loving Mother

Happy Mother’s Day ….I Love You….

I’m Not Far Away

Mom, please listen to me
As I take time to write.
I see parents struggling daily.
Their pain is such a fight..

All of us who have gone on
And left the rest of you behind..
We’re ok, Mom, I promise..
Heaven is beautiful, and God is kind.

You used to tell me that one day
God would call and take you home.
You told me you’d make me strong
So I would stand tall when alone.

But things happen sometimes, Mom
That does not go in our plans.
I wasn’t scared, Mom,
When God held out his hand.
I didn’t want to leave you
I didn’t have time to say good bye
When the angels said, “Come with us.”,
There wasn’t time to question why.

I’ve watched you daily, Mom.
It hurts to see you cry.
I don’t want you to be unhappy,
Just because we didn’t get to say good bye.

Tell the others what I’m telling you,
So many parents need to know
That Earth was just a lay over
We had another place to go.

I know you miss me, Mom
I know your heart was broken in two,
But God really needed me
Because my earthly life was through.

I’m always alongside you..
I smile and touch your hair.
I whisper “Mom, I love you”,
You just can’t see me there.

I’m the one who gently touches you
On your shoulder when you’re sad.
I’m happy now that you finally found
God again, and are no longer mad.

Tell the parents, Mom, for me
That all of us kids are okay.
God had plans for our lives
When he called us home that day.

I love you, Mom, I always will
And remember I’m not far away.
We’re going to be together
When God calls out your name,

Our thoughts are ever with you        
Though you have passed away.
And those who loved you dearly
Are thinking of you today.

Everyday in some small way
Memories of you come our way.
Though absent, you are always near
Still missed, loved and always dear.

Your presence I/we miss,
Your memory I/we treasure,
Loving you always,
Forgetting you never.  No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say goodbye,
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God can tell us why.

Those we love don’t go away,
They walk beside us every day,
Unseen, unheard, but always near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.

We can’t have old days back
When we were all together.
But secret tears and loving thoughts
Will be with us forever.

Thank you for loving and sharing,
For giving and for caring.
God bless you and keep you,
Until we meet again.

When a loved one becomes a memory,
 that memory becomes a treasure.

Your gentle face and patient smile
With sadness we recall
You had a kindly word for each
And died beloved by all.

Your life was a blessing
your memory a treasure…
You are loved beyond words
and missed beyond measure…

You are not forgotten loved one
Nor will you ever be.
As long as life and memory last
We will remember thee.

We miss you now, our hearts are sore,
As time goes by we miss you more,
Your loving smile, your gentle face,
No one can fill your vacant place. 
Your touch, your smile,
Was always so tender,
Today, tomorrow,
We will always remember.
We miss you in so many ways,
We miss the things you used to say,
And when old times we do recall,
It’s then we miss you most of all.
Nothing can ever take away
The love a heart holds dear.
Fond memories linger every day
Remembrance keeps him/her near.
Looking back with memories,
Upon the path you trod,
We bless the hours we had with you,
And leave the rest with God.
Those we love we never lose,
For always they will be,
Loved, remembered, treasured,
Always in our memory.

Always in our thoughts
Forever in our hearts

Tenderly we treasure the past
With memories that will always last.

Though absent you are very near,
Still loved, still missed and very dear.

In the hearts of those who loved you
You will always be there.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God called you home.

Think of him/her as living
In the hearts of those he/she touched.
For nothing loved is ever lost
And he/she was loved so much!

A silent thought, a secret tear,
Keeps your memory ever dear,
God took you home, it was his will,
But in our hearts, you live still.

God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around you
and whispered “Come to Me”.
A golden heart stopped beating,
hard working hands now rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us
 He only takes the best.

Life is but a stopping place,
A pause in what’s to be,
A resting place along the road, 
To sweet eternity.

We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
We are all meant to learn some things,
But never meant to stay.

Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know,
For some the journey’s quicker,
For some the journey’s slow.

But when the journey finally ends,
We’ll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace, 
Together with the Lord.

Little did we know that morning
 God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
but you did not go alone. 
For part of us went with you,
the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories,
your love is still our guide.
And though we cannot see you,
you are always by our side.
Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

If we could have a lifetime wish
and one dream that could come true
We would pray to God with all our
hearts just to see and speak to you
A thousand words won’t bring you back
We know because we’ve tried
and neither will a million tears
We know because we’ve cried
You’ve left behind our broken hearts
and precious memories too
But we’ve never wanted memories
We only wanted you

Right now I’m in a different place 
And though we seem apart 
I’m closer than I ever was 
… I’m there inside your heart
I’m with you when you greet each day 
And while the sun shines bright 
I’m there to share the sunsets, too 
… I’m with you every night
I’m with you when the times are good 
To share a laugh or two, 
And if a tear should start to fall 
… I’ll still be there for you
And when that day arrives 
That we no longer are apart, 
I’ll smile and hold you close to me 
… Forever

As you hold me close in memory, 
even though we are apart, 
my spirit will live on, 
there within your heart . 
I am with you always.

I am with God
God looked around his garden
and found an empty place
He then looked down upon this earth
and saw your tired face
He put his arms around you
and lifted you to rest
God’s garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best
He knew that you were suffering
He knew you were in pain
He knew that you would never
get well on earth again
He saw that the road was getting rough
and the hills are hard to climb
So he closed your weary eyelids
and whispered, “Peace be thine”
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home

Although death has separated us physically,
faith and love have bound us eternally.
Though we cannot see you,
we know you are here.
Though we cannot touch you,
we feel the warmth of your smile,
as we begin a new chapter in our lives.
Today we pause to reflect upon
those who have shaped our character,
molded our spirits and touched our hearts.
May the lighting of this candle be a
reminder of the memories we have shared,
a representation of the everlasting
impact you have made upon our lives.

You were a gift sent straight from Heaven.
Given to us from God above.
We didn’t know how much you would teach us
About the meaning of true love…
For true love sometimes means letting go
Of someone precious and dear.
That is what we were forced to do…
Although we wanted to keep you here!!!
However, this is quite a selfish wish.
One we know we should ignore…
But, sweet (babies name), we truly do believe
That God must have needed you more…
Perhaps to be an Angel now,
Full of wisdom and love…
Watching over those of us who love you
From the shining stars above.
We miss you more than you can know.
You will never be replaced…
In our hearts and memories forever,
Will be your sweet and innocent sleeping face.

Those we love remain with us
for love itself lives on.
Cherished memories never fade
because one loved is gone.
Those we love can never be
more than a thought apart
for as long as there is a memory
they live on in our heart.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep. 
I am a thousand winds that blow. 
I am a diamond glint of snow. 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 
I am the gentle autumn rain. 
When you awake in the morning hush, 
I am the swift uplifting rush 
of quiet birds in circling flight. 
I am the soft star shine at night. 
Do not stand by my grave and cry 
I am not there… 
I did not die.

This day will be a celebration
of the short time you were here.
You will always be remembered
with great love and many tears.
But to only feel pain and sorrow
would not be fair to you.
Your life meant so much more to us,
more than words could say.
You were here so briefly,
I wonder if you knew
all the ways you’ve touched
our world and our hearts
and everyone who knew you
since the day God called you home.
Now my child, you’re an angel
with your heavenly Father above,
we see not only what we’ve lost
This day will be a celebration
of the short time you were here.
You will always be remembered
with great love and many tears.
But to only feel pain and sorrow
would not be fair to you.
Your life meant so much more to us,
more than words could say.
You were here so briefly,
I wonder if you knew
all the ways you’ve touched
our world and our hearts
and everyone who knew you
since the day God called you home.
Now my child, you’re an angel
with your heavenly Father above,
we see not only what we’ve lost

The moment that you died
my heart was torn in two,
one side filled with heartache,
the other died with you.
I often lie awake at night,
when the world is fast asleep,
and take a walk down memory lane,
with tears upon my cheeks.
Remembering you is easy,
I do it everyday,
but missing you is heartache
that never goes away.
I hold you tightly within my heart
and there you will remain.

To the Child in my Heart
O precious tiny sweet little one you will always be to me,
so perfect pure and innocent just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and of your life and all that it would be,
we waited and longed for you to come and join our family.
We never had the chance to play, to laugh to rock to wiggle,
we long to hold you, touch you now and listen to you giggle.
I will always be your mother, he’ll always be your dad,
you will always be our child, the child that we had.
But now your gone…but yet your here,
we’ll sense you everywhere,
you are our sorrow and our joy there’s love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong,
we’ll forget you never.
The child we had, but never had and yet we’ll have forever.

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God has laid you see.
I took his hand when I heard His call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found peace at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joys.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
O yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts and peace to thee,
God wanted me now, He set me free.

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart,
Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark,
Got a memory of you I carry in my soul,
I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold,
If you ask me how I’m doing I’d say just fine,
But the truth is, if you could read my mind,
Not a day goes by, that I don’t think of you,
After all this time, you’re still with me it’s true,
Somehow you remain, locked so deep inside,
Not a day goes by…

I lit a candle tonight, in honor of you
Remembering your life, and all the times we’d been through.
Such a small little light the candle made
Until I realized how much in darkness it lit the way.
All the tears I’ve cried in all my grief and pain
What a garden they grew, watered with human rain.
I sometimes can’t see beyond the moment, in hopeless despair. 
But then your memory sustains me, in heartaches repair.
I can wait for the tomorrow, when my sorrows ease
Until then I’ll light this candle, and let my memories run free.

An angel in the book of life
Wrote down our baby’s birth
She whispered as she closed the book
“Too beautiful for earth.”

Message from Heaven
I still hear the songs
I still see the lights
I still feel your love
I still share your hopes
and all of your cares
I’ll even remind you
to please say your prayers
I just want to tell you
you still make me proud
You stand head and shoulders
above the crowd
Keep trying each moment
to stay in his grace
I came here before you
to help set your place
You don’t have to be
perfect all of the time
He forgives you the slip
if you continue to climb
To my family and friends
please be thankful today
I’m still close beside you
in a new special way
As I am now beside Jesus
in the heaven’s above
Please take care of each other
we send you our love

I am home in heaven dear ones,
oh so happy and so bright.
There is perfect joy and beauty,
in this everlasting light.
All the pain and grief is over,
every restless yearning past.
I am now at peace forever,
safely home in heaven at last.
Dear ones, do not grieve so sorely,
for I love you dearly still.
Try to look beyond earth’s shadow,
pray to trust our father’s will.
There is work still waiting for you,
so you must not idly stand.
When the work is all completed,
He will gently call you home.
Oh, the rapture of that meeting!
Oh, the joy to see you come!

Remembrance  
You can shed tears that she/he is gone,
or you can smile because she/he has lived.
You can close your eyes
and pray that she’ll/he’ll come back,
or you can open your eyes
and see all she/he has left.
Your heart can be empty
because you can’t see her/him,
or you can be full of
the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow
and live yesterday, or you
can be happy for tomorrow
because of yesterday.
You can remember her/him
and only that she’s/he’s gone,
or you can cherish
her/his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what she’d/he’d want:  
Smile, Open Your Eyes,
Love and Go on.

A gift for such a little while,
your loss just seems so wrong,
you should not have left before us,
it’s with loved ones you belong.

I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too,
I think of you in silence I often speak your name
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame
Your memory is my keepsake with which I’ll never part
God has you in His keeping I have you in my heart.